Ginger Nuts of Horror
Not to be confused with The Final Girls, Tyler Shields horror thriller aims for a high concept film with themes about loss, nurture verses nature and the power and disassociation of the privileged classes, actually who am I kidding, any attempt to give this low budget horror thriller any semblance of depth or subtext is lost in a sea of bad acting and bad film making....
Abigail Breslin plays a Veronica a late teen / early twenty female who thanks to her parents dying when she was young and her photographic memory has spent the vast majority of her life training with some secret organisation who may or may not be a super secret crime fighting team or just a bunch of sick bastards who like nothing better than torturing young girls to turn them into killing machines. It's just not that clear as nothing is explained, not even why her photographic memory is of any relevance.
Veronica's mission is to stop a bunch of rich boys from hunting and killing local girls, she lures one of them into picking her up, and invite her out on Saturday for a date with his mates. They end up in the woods, and after a stupid game of truth or dare it is revealed that they are going to hunt and kill her. She, as the title of the film suggests, is the final girl so I can leave it there I'm sure you all can figure out the ending of the film without giving away any spoilers.
Initially the film had some potential, the early scenes that cover her training and transformation into a killing machine are filmed with a sterile non emotional feel, which at first lures you into thinking that the film makers have some sense of drama. However it quickly becomes apparent that the sterile atmosphere and lack of emotions isn't some film making technique, but rather a total lack of acting talent from any of the actors involved, with wooden lines delivered by actors who appear to have trained at the MDF school of acting. Once you realise this, the cheap thin veneer is brutally stripped away to expose a film that tries desperately to be arty but ends up being just confusing, stupid and just plain dull.
I don't think I have ever seen a film that is just so stupid. For example the gang of rich boys obviously like to take all of their victims to the same spot in the woods, hell they even have a comfy set of armchairs and sofas there So surely even the most imbecilic of local police forces could probably figure out that since all of the killings appear in the same fricking forest that maybe, just maybe they should scour it for clues. And surely the fact that there is living room furniture in the middle of the woods that might be a good place for a stake out. Hell every cop show that deals with lots of killings, break ins, abductions, candy snatching from babies has a big map showing all of the places where the crimes have happened. So you'd think it would pretty easy to find an epicentre of the events, especially when the number of killings are pushing upwards of thirty. This may seem like a minor point, but it is indicative of the nonsensical nature of this film.
Don't go into this film expecting any Leon type depth or discourse on the nature of death and training someone to be a killer, the only depth on show in this film despite one of the rich boys spouting some philosophical rant about pleasure without pain, and some really tedious scenes that lamely try to discuss some aspects of the human nature while they play truth or dare, is the depth of just how bad this film is. The acting from the all of those concerned is terrible they either act all dull and wooden, or they are so over the top you would be forgiven for thinking you were watching the worlds worst pantomime.
When we finally get to the action and the hunt, the point of pay off for most bad films we are treated to one of the most ineptly put together set pieces ever recorded onto film. I may have missed some crucial part of the film, but for some reason every single one of the boys seems to hallucinate when they face of against the final girl. I have no idea what the purpose of this was, were they hallucinations or were they the ghosts of those whom they wronged, it was just a pity that by this time you really couldn't care.
For someone who has been trained to kill without compassion you would think that she would have some killer moves, sadly Veronica shows as much kung fu skill as an arthritic 90 year old hippo. It's not as though she was a fabulous actor so you'd think they would hire someone who could actually film a fight scene that wasn't as dull as the proverbial ditchwater.
One thing that has always bugged me about film that are set in the forrest, is the amount of fog and mist that always seems to pervade there. Final Girl may have spent the majority of its budget on set of super powered fog machines. And when you combine it with forest that seems to be decked out in spotlights you cannot help but be thrown out of any narrative that the films desperately tries to cling to.
It also sounds as though the dialogue was recorded in someone's toilet, it echoes and reverberates without any regard to the fact that the film is set in a forest. Come guys this is basic film making, this isn't some student project filmed for £20 on their phone. Surely there must have been one person involved who had a basic grasp of how to make a film that doesn't irritate on every level.
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