Ginger Nuts of Horror
Liam Cunningham wanders into an isolated Scottish village populated by just about every horror cliched stock character that you could think off. The gruff Scottish police Sargent who has a lot of dark secrets and love of the bottle, the fiesty upstart of a new police recruit, a crazy doctor looking for souls, two other cops with some more dirty secrets, and let us not forget the school teacher who likes to interfere with little kids.
Up until Cunningham appears everything is pretty rosy for everyone no one knows anything about each other, but that will soon change, for he has the power to see into their souls and their deepest darkest secrets. It's just a pity that he couldn't see if anyone on the production team had a single original idea.
There must be at least a dozen or so movies that have been stripped mined to make up the plot of this creaky poorly acted embarrassment of a film. And based on the recent decision of a French court I would be a wee bit concerned about John Carpenter knocking on my door, wondering how they could have made such a bad version of Assault on Precinct 13, he might also bring Stephen King around for a chat about Needful Things. It is not so much that they riff of other films, hell that has been going on since the second film was ever made, it's that fact that they do it so badly. With more flashbacks that a Woodstock reunion, and a jarringly annoying obsession with fast jump cuts and buzzing sound track, you would be hard pushed to actually enjoy the film if was actually any good such is the over baring nature of them.
Chuck in your obligatory lack of adherence to the laws of physics and chemistry, dialogue that must have had the whole cast dying a little inside with every line they uttered this film really is one of the biggest disappointments of the year. As for the acting I think it can be best summed up with the fact that Cunningham's left eyebrow acted everyone of them of the screen with barely a raised twitch. Which is rather annoying as the last five minutes of the film is really good, I fear though that not too many of you will make through the preceding 125 minutes of amateur hour at the local church hall.
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