Ginger Nuts of Horror
I've got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can't lose.
Or so Lionel Richie tells us. I have a similar feeling, but I don't think it's the same feeling as our dear friend Lionel. My feeling is that the beneath the effervescently crazy and jolly exterior Jasper Bark is one of the sickest and most twisted people walking the planet today. Those familiar with Jasper's previous work in the horror genre will be aware that there has always been dark and twisted side to his work, hell who can forget the zombie sex scene in Way of The Barefoot Zombie, I can't despite spending All Night Long in therapy.
With this latest release from Mr Bark, he throws away all pretence of normality and delivers on of the most sick and twisted stories of recent memories.
Not that it should come as much of a surprise going by the cover of the book, Hell it almost looks moist and gunky. In fact that's a rather good way to describe this book, this perverse mixture of horror, erotica and humour that is darker than the darkest night will ensure that the sales of wet wipes will always remain high.
Most stories like to ease you in, sort of like a first date, not so with Stuck on You, hell within a few seconds we see our protagonist have an experience that will see him not so much Dancing on the Ceiling, more like dancing like someone who has just literally been struck in the ass from a lightening bolt from the sky. A lightening bolt that will see him unable to Just Say Goodbye to the woman with whom he was enjoying a bit of Endless Love with.
What follows is a gloriously over the top, and flamboyant thrill ride of depravity that will entice, titillate and disgust you in equal measures
. Please don't be under any misconceptions this is a book that has the ability to make you empty the contents of your stomach, while turning your hair white with shock.
What Jasper Bark achieves with the limitations of a novella length story is exceptional. Stuck on You could be described as a Bizzaro novella, as it and that sub genre do like to push the boundaries of of what is classed as acceptable taste. However where 99% of Bizarro fails is in the quality of the writing, and this is what sets Stuck on You apart from this sub genre. Stuck on You reads like Easy on a Sunday Morning, with an expertly gifted turn of phrase Bark succeeds in keeping this riotous novella on the right side of the tracks. When you have a narrative this crazy there is always the danger of it becoming a farce, thankfully Bark stops this from happening.
So why don't you buy a copy of the book Shout it Out To the World, and we can al have The Time of Our Lives reading this novella.
STUCK ON YOU BY JASPER BARK
Warning! Do not buy this book, gentle reader.
No really, we mean it. Move along, click away from this page and go look at some Dino porn instead. We’re not kidding. The only reason we published it is because award winning author Jasper Bark has got some serious dirt on us. Honestly, there’s no other reason to put out something this depraved.
This is the sickest, filthiest and most horny novella you’re likely to read this year. It will turn you on even as it turns your stomach. Think you’ve seen everything there is to see in horror and erotica? Think again! Just when you think this story can’t get any lower it finds new depths to plumb.
Why are you still reading this?! Oh God you’re going to buy it aren’t you? You can’t help yourself. You’re going to click on that purchase button and download this little bad boy.
Well don’t say we didn’t warn you...
ABOUT JASPER BARK
Jasper Bark finds writing author biographies and talking about himself in the third person faintly embarrassing. Telling you that he's an award winning author of four cult novels including the highly acclaimed 'Way of the Barefoot Zombie', just sounds like boasting. Then he has to mention that he's written 12 children's books and hundreds of comics and graphic novels and he wants to just curl up. He cringes when he has to reveal that his work has been translated into nine different languages and is used in schools throughout the UK to help improve literacy, or that he was awarded the This Is Horror Award for his recent anthology 'Dead Air'. Maybe he's too British, or maybe he just needs a good enema, but he's glad this bio is now over.
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